Application Story 21st: Increasing Awareness for Our Peace of Mind

To be truly successful means to be truly peaceful and know how to return to a state of peace when disturbed.

The other day in my spinning class the instructor asked me, “why I was taking the class, and what my end goal was…” You may think I was going to say to lose weight, or to lose some calories… Well to her surprise I added that I was there to nurture my peace of mind… Yes, that is a way for me to focus on myself and let things go with my fiscal effort, letting the stress evaporate every second of the class. It may sound funny to all of you, but that is a way for me to build in my heart and soul peace, and calmness.
But what is peace of mind?

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia "Peace of Mind" may refer to: “The absence of mental stress or anxiety, and the presence of serenity, calm, quiet, comfort of mind; Inner peace”

So what is peace of mind for you? Let’s talk about it in this entry…

We tend to be an anxious society. In fact, we may be an anxious world because we worried about war, losing our jobs, dangers confronting things, fear of being parents, stress about working too much, insecurity and uncertainty. We tent to ask ourselves very frequent: “What if..?” and this worry is understandable given the state of things at the present time. However there is no doubt that with the right tools and support all of us can overcome stressful situations, and rise from any trouble in a stronger way. I’m sure all of us can live and fulfill life in the middle of the difficulties we may face. As I read sometime, “all of us can find a sense of peace and purpose”.

Now let’s explore some recommended tips to build awareness on how to achieve peace of mind. But before getting into this, please remember: “it is one step at a time, or one day at time to develop and master a skill”.

Step 1: Un-Set Our Heart…Un-setting our heart means letting go of our picture of how we want it all to be. It means letting go of trying to control things over which we have no control. One of the prime causes of our suffering is our wanting things to be different than they are. Yes, we all want a peaceful world instead of a world filled with weapons of mass destruction. Yes, we all want health instead of illness. Yes, we all want healthy, happy children instead of children who break our hearts. But sometimes life doesn't hand us what we want. And when we un-set our hearts from our needing it all to be a certain way, we can breathe a sigh of relief and open the door to a more powerful way of living. 

Step 2: Create a Wondering Life Instead of a Hoping Life…It helps us un-set our hearts when we replace the words "I hope" with the words "I wonder." Let’s take a look how: Instead of "I hope this difficult situation ends quickly," make it "I wonder if this difficult situation will end quickly." Instead of "I hope the stock market goes up," make it "I wonder if the stock market will go up." Instead of "I hope I keep my job," make it "I wonder if I'll keep my job." Notice the relief in this simple shift. Even with difficult situations in our lives, substituting "I wonder" for "I hope" keeps our hopes from being dashed and opens up the possibility of our learning and growing from whatever happens.

Step 3: Choose the Path of Trust…When we fully understand that we have little control of the external world, we then have two choices: we can choose to see ourselves as a "poor-me" victim at the mercy of circumstances or we can choose to develop the trust that, no matter what happens in our life or in the world, we will have the inner strength to create something good from it all. Hopefully we will choose the latter! Remember every difficult moment is a learning experience.

Step 4: Increase Your Inner Sense of Power…One way to help us develop trust in ourselves is to cut off negativity in the mind by saying to ourselves over and over again, "Whatever happens in our lives, we’ll handle it! If we say it often enough, we will ultimately believe it. And if we really believe that we can handle anything that happens in our life and in the world, what could we possibly have to fear? Nothing!

So when the "what-if's" are driving us mad, simply cut them off by saying over and over again, "Whatever happens, We'll handle it!" We'll feel a sense of confidence wash over us. "What if I lose my job? I'll handle it." "What if my children have difficult times? I'll handle it. Whatever happens in my life, I'll handle it!"

Step 5: Focus of the Learning…This is my favorite! Yes, we can learn and find strength from anything that happens to us. I certainly learned from and found strength as a result of my own experiences with things I have faced in life. If we see ALL situations in life as a way of learning and growing, it helps us let go of our need for things to be a certain way.
Keep this in mind:

• War = a way of learning
• Peace = a way of learning
• Illness = a way of learning
• Health = a way of learning
• Poverty = a way of learning
• Wealth = a way of learning
• Depression = a way of learning
• Joy = a way of learning

 Despite what is happening in our life and in the world, constantly let’s remind ourselves "We can learn from this." When we can see the opportunities inherent in all situations, good or bad, it truly helps us embrace all the uncertainty in our life.


 Lastly, I wanted to add this final suggestion…

As we go about our day, stop for a moment and notice when something wonderful happens. Then say to ourselves while still in the glory of the moment, "I have had this." This is the acknowledgment that "No matter what happens tomorrow, we have had this today." It is in the noticing of the little things that we truly get the feeling of a life well-lived... that wonderful hot shower, that kiss from a loved one, the fact that your car started, that great dinner you are eating, the warm rays of the sun, a candy bar, a warm smile, a nice thank you, a wonderful television show, a happy person at work, etc…  That will help us achieve more awareness of “peace of mind” and it is not that complicated believe me!

If we, step by step, begin incorporating into our life these tips, our sense of peace of mind will grow and grow. Remember: there is plenty of time...but now is definitely the time to begin!

Action Item:
1. Think about the positive outcomes you may have when adding one of these steps in your daily life and routine.
2. Think about people in your own circle that can be a great role model for increasing your peace of mind.
3. Share with us your impressions, when incorporating these tips in to your life

Enjoy!

Summary - Application Stories.. 1 to 20: What are we doing next?

This blog entry is a reminder of all the things we have shared in the past application stories. Soon we will be entering the “Easter Time “with new plans and fresh air in our hearts…

Here is some interesting data I found in internet…(Adapted from: Open Forum - Matthew E. May)

Human beings are designed to pulse, to move between spending and renewing energy to meet our four key needs: physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. This flies in the face of prevailing work practices, which are in reality built on a few myths:

• Myth: Great performers get by on less sleep.
• Reality: Research suggests just the opposite. Across disparate fields, elite performers sleep an average of 8 1/2 hours a night, compared to the 6 1/2 hours that the average American sleeps.

• Myth: A little anxiety and fear help motivate us when we’re facing tough deadlines.
• Reality: In fact, negative emotions of any kind consistently undermine high performance. The better we feel, the better we perform.

• Myth: Multitasking is a key to getting more done in a world of relentless demand.
• Reality: Numerous studies have shown that when we juggle multiple activities, the time it takes to finish any given one activity increases by an average of 25 percent.

So what are we doing for this new season?

Here are some tips from me to you... I wanted to point out in particular how to start our days, becoming more sensitive to our surroundings:

Tip One:  Free Start!Start your day in different ways for great results. From a morning phrase to exercising or experiencing gratitude, find the way you like.


Tip Two: Breathe deep.
If you feel negative emotions coming on, or when you feel frustrated, annoyed, or anxious, simply take a few deep breaths. Extend the exhale to decrease your physiological arousal and quickly restore a sense of calm.


Tip Three: Make sufficient sleep your highest priority.
After breathing, sleeping is our most fundamental need. It’s also the first thing we’re willing to give up in an effort to get more done. Begin quieting down at least 30 minutes before you go to sleep. Avoid anything stimulating, such as the Internet, mysteries, and intense conversations. Wind down with mellow music, a bath, or herbal tea.



Tip Four:  Accentuate the Positive. Make a list of activities that you enjoy most and that make you feel best. Intentionally schedule at least one of these activities into your life each week.


Tip Five:  Give Thanks. Write a note of appreciation to someone in your life once a week. We’re far quicker to notice what’s wrong than to celebrate what’s right in others. You might be surprised to discover how energized and inspired people are when they feel recognized and appreciated.

Action Item:

1. Select one of these tips to start one day this upcoming weeks.

2. Remember that it is one step at a time.

3. Share your impressions and ideas

Finally, remember to find:

Comfort, on difficult days,
Smiles, when sadness intrudes,
Rainbows, to follow the clouds,
Laughter, to kiss your lips
Hugs, when spirits sag,
Friendship, to brighten your being,
Beauty, for your eyes to see,
Faith, so that you can believe,
Confidence, for when you doubt,
Patience, to accept the truth,
Courage, to know yourself,
Love, to complete your life.

Enjoy and Happy Upcoming Easter!

Application Story 20: Slow Down … to Enjoy Live

We are very close to celebrate Easter, welcoming more light into our lives, with the beginning of upcoming seasons. Therefore it is a good time to make a pause and slow down to enjoy what will come soon in this new beginning.  This application story will bring to our attention those things that we tend to forget when rushing and living life as fast as we can, without really enjoying its pleasures, memorable and teachable moments.

In fact many of us live our lives running late, and behind time. The sad thing is that for some of us we may reach it only when we will die of a heart attack rushing to be on time. Others are so anxious of leaving the future that they forget to live the present, which is the only time that truly exists. Like this said: “Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans” So the questions is what are we going to do?


What is more today’s challenge is becoming questioning ourselves: “How Do We Keep Up?.”
In our rush, we don’t realize that we have missed something important like a fact, an intention, a tone, an expression, an unperceived issue, history or new reality. Later we wish we had taken even what someone really mean. It is a true reality and for that reason I am a firm believer that we need to take a pause to really think, rest, take away a negative feeling, speak, listen, understand, express an emotion, heal or simply do nothing; In fact, it is important to consider “slowing down” as a fundamental part of our wellbeing. 


For this topic I happened to find something called: “The Slowdown Manifesto”, and here is a fragment of that to help us slowdown, and take a pause in life.  “We shall not flag or fail. We shall slowdown in the office, and on the roads. We shall slow down with growing confidence when all those around us are in a shrill state of hyperactivity (signifying nothing). We shall defend our state of calm, whatever the cost may be. We shall slowdown in the fields and in the streets, we shall slowdown in the hills, we shall never surrender!” - SlowDownNow.org


More things to share…Studies have shown that rushing is a direct cause of rudeness, blunder, and misfortune. In fact from the moment we begin our days, we are juggling work and other personal things… before we know it, we are making snap decisions or snapping at others. We may get angry or defensive with others, also impulsive and mediocre. Our life becomes hectic and we rush missing the great privilege that comes from enjoying one moment at a time. And with this I do not mean to stop being productive or efficient, what I mean is to really add the quality to our work and daily things by slowing down.

What can we do to avoid this?


It is not easy to break a habit of rushing thru life; however if we work on it, we will see great improvements and a better quality of work life balance. I’m a strong believer that once you decide to do it, the positive side effects in our daily routines and relationships will improve by taking the moment to really think, pause and breathe before rushing into things. Just reflect about it! Let me give you a very common example: If you start your day like rushing all your to do’s, and not being fully present, others will start perceiving that. In fact, if you are in a meeting and you rush your material or information because you are really thinking about the next thing you have to do; people will stop listening to you no matter how important is your message. The fact is that they will notice your rush and your internal desperation to finish one thing to get to the other without being fully present. Moreover, people in your meeting will be more concerned about your way of delivering the information, and your lack of presence, than the quality of the information. And that can make people perceive you as a person who is not really in the moment.


So to help us become slower in the things we do in life, let’s reflect on the following questions:


1. How do we make most of the time we have?
2. How do we successfully handle what’s on our plates?
3. How do we still feel good about ourselves at the end of each day?

In addition, I want to share some practical tips I have collected over the years of working in a multiphase-pace environment. I welcome us to explore them and try things at our own pace or convenience so we can slowdown in life and enjoy simple things more often.

1. Do one thing at a time. Remember multitasking is a moral weakness.

2. Do not be pushed into answering questions. A response is not the same as an answer. Ponder, take your time.

3. Learn the Slow Manifesto described above.

4. Close your eyes often. Medical studies have shown lots of things, and possibly that closing your eyes may be good for you.

5. Spend more time in bed. You have a better chance of cultivating your dreams (not your aspirations.)

6. Read & relax once a week as possible.

7. Spend more time with your family, kids, friend and partners. You can recharge your energy by getting to meet your love ones.

8. Spend more time in the bathtub.

9. Sometimes, practice doing nothing. (Yes this is the difficult one.)

10. Avoid too much seriousness. Laugh, because you're only alive on planet earth for a limited time.

More For Us.... in case the above are already done in our list!

11. Avoid TV as much as you can so you can take time to think, and relax in a different way.

12. Practice Yoga or meditation it is good to hear your soul.

13. Show appreciation for people.

14. Smile at people. That will make you feel good.

15. When talking pause, and make sure you say things in a clear way. I learned the rule of sharing only 3 things instead of going on and on.

16. Drive with the mindset of buying a place or a house, so that you can slow down and enjoy the ride.

17. Take walk at the park, street, etc.

18. Avoid complaining about things, think that all of them are learning moments.

19. Make sure you have passion for something and practice your hobbies.
20. If you feel your body is telling you to slow down with some signals like palpitations, mental stress, lack of sleep, frustration, or feeling really tired… LISTEN to that!

What else?

21.
22.
23.

In summary, there are likely many more ways by which you can slow your life down. A simple hammock and a warm summer day for a nap, an intimate conversation, telling stories to children, the list can go on and on… The main point is to slow down! Keep in mind that the world can function without us for a little while. And no one is truly indispensable. If they were, we wouldn't have presidential elections every few years.

The mark of a successful man is one that has spent an entire day on the bank of a river without feeling guilty about it.  ~Author Unknown


Enjoy!

Application Story 19: How to Inspire People

Spring is here, and our application stories are continuing to grow, we are in number 19th for the month of April!

In this blog entry, we will be discussing how to continue inspiring people to find their full potential, and to reach their personal and professional goals.  So let me start asking you these questions:

How many of us, feel that we would like to be that person that everyone looks up to or gets ideas from people? Have you ever wanted to be described as helpful and fun?  

I guess all of us want to be considered as someone who can inspire people, how is easy going and approachable, and who is honest and trustworthy with all what they do and say. A person who can inspire someone to take that step, and become happier in life!

Let me tell you, the world is filled with inspirational people. Sometimes we do not need to look any further than within our own circle of family and friends. At other times, we are inspired by those we know only in name. In one case or the other, there is people out there that can inspire us, with a great gesture, a smile, a nice comment, a little encouragement, or a kind hug… whatever it is… we also can be that type of person, that is a skill we can develop!


The good news is that this is a skill that we can develop over the course of our multiple interactions with our people at work and in our personal lives. Inspiring others is not as complicated as you may think. It is a matter of being positive and engaging to help people find their ways in any given situation. Sometimes we do not have the answer; but then again with a positive attitude, a sincere smile, or words of encouragement we can help others regain or find that confidence they need. Off course it is not an easy thing to do, however is a competency that we can develop and become one of the powerful tools or abilities, especially when leading teams and working with others.


Below please find key steps to help us inspire our people: Family, Friends, Coworkers, Team Members, or even people we just met… You Can Do It!

Be friendly. Being friendly doesn't always mean having sleepovers constantly with people you barely know. Just saying you like someone's sweater, or even just saying "hi" to someone can cause them to have a more positive attitude toward you, and maybe even inspire them.


Try your best. This is probably one of the most important steps. Always go into things with good intentions and positive thoughts. Most likely, you'll be admired for your determination and, most likely, will do better. When you lose a soccer game or have a bad day at school or work, try to go through it with a quiet smile and do better next time. Don't blame it all on yourself, nor should you blame it on anyone else. This is common sense, but it's surprising how many people forget how awesome they really are!


Know when to be quiet. You don't always have to talk to inspire people. It's usually your actions that inspire people, not your words.


Be someone you'd want to be around. In other words, be someone that you would enjoy being around. If you don't like how you act, chances are other people won't like you, either.

TIPS:
When interacting with people, keep your expectations realistic, so you can understand people’s points of view and then engage in the conversation sharing your ideas. Open your heart and listen to what that person is trying to tell you. Do not impose!

Try to put yourself on the others person’s shoes. You never know what is behind the other person’s life. Avoid being critical and judgmental. It is not easy but you have to try it!

Do not become too overconfident and let your ego grow. It is not that great be the savvier person, and demonstrate that you are right and they are wrong. That is not OKAY!  True leaders are humble, and honest, that makes them real, and successful.

Do not be afraid to say I don’t know! In fact, you do not need to know everything, and sometimes people are just sharing with you an idea or thought. Just be open to hear…
I ‘m a firm believer that people know the answers, we just need to facilitate the process sometime to help them find what they need.

Do not be afraid to recognize your mistakes or errors. Take them as learning moments! All of them are moments for you to learn or re-learn something.  Confident people know that we learn also from mistakes. That is one of the best ways to learn!

Open your heart to people, look beyond what you see. You may find a great person, a great feeling, a great idea etc.

Do not turn down ideas or thoughts. Listen, and ask for more information if you need further details.

Do not become that negative person, friend or manager who always says NO, or adds a bitter comment or a negative thing to people’s ideas. That will make people avoid you, and stop sharing.

Avoid jealousy feeling. That is not good, and won’t take you anywhere! We should be happy, and celebrate people’s triumphs and excitements.  A true person gets happy for others when great things happen, and encourage them to enjoy the moment.

We are all different and despite our journey, and differences we are all together to live and let live! Have that as a mantra.

And finally, be you!

Action Items:


• Try to remember the feeling you had when inspiring someone to do something, dare to try an idea, or to simply think about it. How do you feel, and what was the outcome?

• What is the top three things you would like to start working on to become more approachable to people when seeking for help, advice, or ideas?

• What else we could do to inspire our friends, kids, family and coworkers?

Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world. - Harriet Tubman
Enjoy!