Giving and Receiving Feedback

Giving and receiving regular feedback in our personal and professional relationships helps us to understand our strengths and target our less developed areas. Knowing how to give impactful feedback is a valuable skill that will help others grow and be more effective.

As a person with a passion for learning and development, I will say that giving and receiving feedback is one of the core skills to build relationships and become good at something. In fact, openness, honesty, candor, trust all of these are hallmarks of high performance teams and organizations. Good feedback skills are essential to any relationship.  Feedback is important because it prevents small issues from becoming unmanageable problems, it builds trust in relationships, and it promotes personal and professional growth.

A model for feedback.  Many people I have worked with asked me if I have preferable model to use when giving or receiving feedback. I do have one that is very easy to remember. It is named the BEER model. Let’s take a look:

The BEER Model

B- Behavior: Identify what the employee is doing or not doing.

E- Effect: Explain why the behavior is related to productivity/business performance. (Impact)

E- Expectation: Explain what you expect the employee to continue doing or to stop doing to change.

R- Result: Identify what will happen if the employee changes or what the consequences will be if the behavior continues.

Another model for feedback:

Stop, Start, and Continue Model

“Stop, Start, Continue" is a simple technique for fostering respectful and effective communication. In the spirit of learning, one person tells another things she should "stop" doing, things she should "start" doing, and things she should "continue" doing. For example, a manager might recommend that an employee stop using a certain supplier, start tracking time spent on different projects, and continue collaborating with colleagues in other departments. The employee might suggest that his manager stop arriving late to meetings, start delegating more tasks to others, and continue apprising department members about project budgets.

Why Use this Approach: This approach allows both sides to give direct and specific feedback. It ensures that valuable information gets communicated evenly, reinforces productive behavior, and provides managers with insight into their employees' capabilities. Teams can also use "Stop, Start, Continue" to develop a list of action items or unearth hidden problems. When colleagues can communicate honestly and collaborate to improve processes, they advance team learning and provide opportunities for developing shared vision.

Set the Context: Take some time to think about what you, or others are doing in relationship to organizational partnerships, projects, jobs or responsibilities. Ask yourself these questions: What is not working? (Something you/ we should STOP). What should we have in place to improve? (Something you/we should START). What is working well and should be continued? (Something you/we should CONTINUE.

Tips and suggestions to receive feedback: 

• Listen to understand. Practice all the skills of an effective listener including using body language and facial expressions that encourage the other person to talk.
• Try to suspend judgment. After all, in learning the views of the feedback provider, you learn about yourself and how your actions are interpreted in the world.
•  Summarize and reflect what you hear. Your feedback provider will appreciate that you are really hearing what they are saying. You are ascertaining that you 'are' really hearing.
•  Ask questions to clarify. Focus on questions to make sure you understand the feedback.
• Ask for examples and stories that illustrate the feedback, so you know you share meaning with the person providing feedback.
• Just because a person gives you feedback, doesn't mean their feedback is right. They see your actions but interpret them through their own perceptual screen and life experiences. Ask for clarification if you need it.
• Be approachable. People avoid giving feedback to difficult people. Your openness to feedback is obvious through your body language, facial expressions, and welcoming manner.

Remember, only you have the right and the ability to decide what to do with the feedback. Feedback is a gift to help people develop and become better in life. Try to show your appreciation to the person providing the feedback. They'll feel encouraged and believe it or not, you do want to encourage feedback. If you find yourself becoming defensive or hostile, practice stress management techniques such as taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. Focusing on understanding the feedback by questioning and restating usually defuses any feelings you have of hostility or anger.

In summary, when learning a new skill, practice is what makes us stronger. It is not easy to apply all these ideas at once. Just start with the ones you feel more comfortable with, and take one step at time to build your skills around giving and receiving feedback. Also remember to provide feedback with a good intent, if you do not have that in mind then do not waste your time and energy. Feedback should be something to help people grow and develop. Explore this resource to continue enhancing your skills around Feedback: http://managementhelp.org/commskls/feedback/feedback.htm