For this discussion let’s start with this question:
- If a person ask you what your life goals are, what would you say?
- Let’s say that the majority of us will respond the following:
• To find great love
• Get a great job
• Buy a nice house
• Get married
• Stay in great shape
• Raise a lovely family
• Enjoy my passions
• Spend time with my friends
• Be liked and loved
• Attain my dreams
Next, pretend you are having an imaginary conversation with a 4 year old child about how great is your life. The conversation would go this way:
You: “I want to have a great job.”
4-year old: “Why?”
You: “So that I can do what I love and earn a great salary.”
4-year old: “Why?”
You: “So I can enjoy my life.”
4-year old: “Why?”
You: “Because that will make me happy.”
Reflection - The 4-year old child is extremely insightful, and what we learned is that if we had the same conversation about any of our life goals, we would drill down to the same reason every time:
We do everything in life to find happiness.
But now let me ask you this question: Why aren’t we, as humans, happier? Why we complain about it?To respond to this, here is an interesting fact:
Money, Love, & Healthy COMBINED can only increase our happiness up to 10%. That’s right, it has been scientifically determined that this is the case.
And, What does it mean that those things only increase or decrease our happiness by 10%?
It means if we were rich, had the perfect mate, and in terrific health, we would only be 10% happier than if you were poor, single, and in bad shape physically. Sound false? Well, when we put it that way, maybe it sounds false, but what about when we look around us at people chasing after these three things:
1. Do we know anyone who has achieved financial success, yet is still unhappy?
2. Do we know anyone who is in a great relationship, but always seems to complain?
3. How about someone who is a skinny and in great health, but still miserable?
Does this sound familiar?
We can call these people CHASERS. They chase happiness, but no matter what they chase, they come up short, and feel miserable. What about us, Are we chasers?
In this case reading more about this subject, as a global society we normally look for the next thing to make us happy, so when we reach that point, then we want more, and try to get more. But this happiness becomes temporary. As many have said, in society sometimes we are chasing the wrong things and things are not enough.
How to Incorporate More Happiness Into Our Lives?
• Money, love, and health ONLY affect our level of happiness by up to 10%. That means if some of these things in your life are not going as you have planned, it does not matter. You can still internally increase your happiness no matter what your life circumstance!
• Goal setting is not just about reaching the goals you’ve set; setting the goals in and of themselves has tremendous benefit. You wouldn’t go on a road trip without a map and the same goes for life. Learning how to goal set will increase your happiness.
• People who have an opportunity to use their strengths at work, home, or school every day are much happier than those that do not. The same goes for using your skills, talents, and creativity. You must take the assessments to identify your strengths and lean on them to increase your happiness!
• Optimism can decrease your susceptibility for physical and mental weakness. Optimists view bad occurrences as temporary, specific, and often caused by external forces. These are signs of optimism and optimism can be learned.
• Gratitude exercises done in a particular manner can not only increase your happiness, it can decrease blood pressure, boost your immune system, and decrease situational depression. The studies prove this!
• It’s possible to be TOO happy! I know it sounds silly, but on a scale of 1-10, it is better to be an 8 so that you will continue to strive to be a 10. If you consider yourself a 10 in every aspect of your life, you may become complacent. If you think about this one, it may make your head spin. Keep going, the science will show you how to be optimally happy.
•The percentage of our happiness that is passed on by genes has been scientifically determined to be only 50%. That means 50% of our happiness is in our control and we now have the exercises to take that control and make ourselves happier!
And with this… just keep in mind that Happy People…
• Live Longer
• Get better jobs
• Get paid more
• Volunteer more
• Have lower blood pressure
• Less heart disease
• Enjoy longer marriages
• Achieve more of their goals
What comes next?
Below are 4 action items to help us shape-up our happiness and joyful feelings:
Observe...
1. What we talk…The way we speak about the good and bad events in our lives will increase our set level of happiness.
2. What we say…Include in your daily life expression of gratitude. They can decrease blood pressure and depression when practiced in a particular fashion.
3. What we do…Job crafting including finding a job that uses your talents can lead to a higher paying job and satisfaction
4. How we behave… Acts of Kindness can actually be extremely beneficial for the one performing the act – that’s you!’
What else should we do?
“Happiness is the confidence that pain and disappointment can be tolerated, that love will prove stronger than aggression. It is release from the attachment to pleasant feelings, and faith in the capacity of awareness to guide us through the inevitable insults to our own narcissism. It is the realization that we do not have to be so self-obsessed, that within our own minds lies the capacity for a kind of acceptance we had only dreamed of. This happiness rarely comes without effort to train mind”. - Opening Up to Happiness
Enjoy!
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