Application Story 18: A Key to Finding Success

“Success means having the courage, the determination, and the will to become the person you believe you were meant to be” - George Sheehan quotes (American physician, author and running enthusiast, 1918 - 1993)


Sometimes in our personal and professional lives we hear people saying “I want to be successful and achieve my goals”… Does this sound familiar? Well, we all hope to achieve success in many areas of our lives, but sometimes the road to success seems to be paved with difficulties and events that we hadn't planned for. However, as I said before in other entries, those difficulties also are ways of learning and teaching moments, and we need to know that the journey to success includes them too. But the bottom line is we all want to feel successful in what we do, or what we dream of doing, the great news is that it is possible! It is a matter of adjusting the way we view life, the perspective we have about things, and the dedication and effort we put into things we would like to accomplish.

In this entry I would like to share with you a series of seven beliefs that can help us shape our life’s outlook, and the way we project our self toward achieving our goals and our dreams to become a reality.


Here is the First Tip: 
A solid belief system can take you a long way.  Success has its own belief system and when you can master such a system, there is very little that can stop the inevitable:  great achievements.  Take a look at the seven beliefs that can take your success to greater heights:


Belief #1: Everything happens for a reason
I can guarantee you that all successful people believe that there is a purpose behind every event or situation.  Whether it’s a lesson to be learned or a change in your life’s path for example, they believe that whatever happens was meant to happen.  As people say: “they make lemonade out of a lemon”. 
Here is a Tip: Instead of beating yourself down if something does not go your way, focus on the good that can come out of it.  Of course, certain events are indeed very difficult to see positive into them, but you owe it to yourself and to your success to try your absolute best to make the most out of any situation.  There are many people that lost a loved one to a disease, only to become advocates for research to cure such a disease, as well as many victims of accidents that have not let their shortcomings in the aftermath get in the way of whatever they wanted to accomplish.  Sometimes life does not go as planned, but knowing that everything happens for a reason can help you carve a new path towards a new life with new goals and new successes.


Belief #2: Failure does not exist
There are only learning experiences and teaching moments.  Once you submerge yourself into a culture that does not see failure, but only experiences and results, you take away an enormous chunk of negative energy out of your life.  For example, I come up with many different ideas for new courses, and things I want to try.  Sometimes, these ideas do not provide the results I expected.  Instead of saying “I failed”, I tell myself “I guess I learned something.  I learned that this technique does not work.  I’ll try something else then”. 
Here is a tip: If you want to achieve highly successful outcomes, you need to alter your view of failures into something constructive that keeps you going until you get the results you desired.

Belief #3: Take responsibility no matter what
It’s very easy to play the blame game whenever a difficult situation arises, but the true leaders are the ones that will take full responsibility, whether it’s positive or negative.  You may be tempted to deflect any blame onto others but there is something empowering about accepting responsibility.
Here is a Tip: If you know there is no such thing as failure, only learning experiences, then it is in your best interest to take full responsibility, since you know you will achieve your desired outcome regardless.  This shows maturity, as well as a coherent belief system all the way through.  It’s a symbol of personal power which is necessary to become highly successful.


Belief #4: You don’t need to understand everything perfectly
You may notice that most very successful people are well versed into many different subjects but do not have full mastery of them.  They know what’s essential without getting into all the minute details of it all.  For example, a true CEO may have some knowledge in areas such as marketing, design, programming, accounting, finances, etc.  They do not need to be experts in those subjects, but they should know enough how to manage experts in their teams that know all about it. They should be experts in managing them effectively & collectively.  Successful people aren’t the most knowledgeable people.  For example, Bill Gates and Steve Jobs weren’t the most skilled programmers or computer engineers.  However, they were the most effective in using the skills that they had.


Belief #5: Your biggest resources are your people
You should know that you cannot climb the ladder of success all alone.  Along the way, you will need people to assist you.  The ones that climb further and higher than the rest are the ones that treat their people the best.  A sense of team unity and respect is totally necessary in order to create the proper mood from which you can harvest adequate success.  When you have a successful team working together, success comes easily.  This is why you need to nurture that team.  Care for those relationships because the more positive and enlightening they are, the further along you will get.


Belief #6: Work is playing
Do you know anyone that’s ever succeeded doing something they absolutely hate?  Me neither!  An important key to success is making a combination of what you do with what you love or have passion for.  We can all do our best to find work that invigorates us and makes us excited.  As well, we can also bring about at work many of the aspects of what we love to do. I hear this expression once: You have to make “your vocation your vacation.  If you view work as nothing more than a way to make money, then it will nothing more than that.  Sooner or later, it will be dreadful to be doing this work many hours per day, when the only reason you are doing it is for money.  It needs to be more than that.  It needs to spark your creativity, make you smile, and inspire you!  I highly recommend you check out the application story 16: Finding Your True Passion.


Belief #7: There is no success without commitment
To achieve great things, you need a great commitment.  When JFK said we would put a human being on the Moon, it was a huge commitment.  Look at the enormous success it provided though.  The most successful people are usually the ones that are the most committed.  An example I have is Wayne Gretzky. He is a retired professional ice hockey player and former ice hockey coach. Nicknamed "The Great One".  He was never the biggest player.  He was never the fastest skater.  He is generally regarded as the best player in the history of the National Hockey League (NHL), and has been called "the greatest hockey player ever" by many sportswriters, players, and the NHL itself.  He didn’t have the most powerful shot.  However, he was the most committed.  Hockey was his passion and his life, which made him practice harder and want success more.  That is why he became the greatest hockey player the sport has ever seen.  Success comes with a price!  The ones that do whatever it takes (of course without harming someone or cheating) are the ones that accomplish the most.

Application Story:

1. Pick one to three of these 7 believes and start determining how will you implemented them in your life and routine.

2. What is the one thing that you would do differently as a result of reading this entry?

3. What else do you recommend?

“Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life - think of it, dream of it, live on that idea. Let the brain, muscles, nerves, every part of your body, be full of that idea, and just leave every other idea alone. This is the way to success, which is way great spiritual giants are produced.”
Swami Vivekananda quotes (Indian Spiritual leader of the Hindu religion (Vedanta). Disciple of the famous 19th century mystic-saint Sri Ramakrishna of Calcutta. Founder of the Ramakrishna Order of Monks. 1863-1902)

 Enjoy!

Application Story 17: Do You Know That Happiness Can Be Learned?

In this application story we will be discussing ways and ideas to continue developing our internal skills to find our passion and happiness. 


For this discussion let’s start with this question:
- If a person ask you what your life goals are, what would you say?
- Let’s say that the majority of us will respond the following:

• To find great love
• Get a great job
• Buy a nice house
• Get married
• Stay in great shape
• Raise a lovely family
• Enjoy my passions
• Spend time with my friends
• Be liked and loved
• Attain my dreams

Next, pretend you are having an imaginary conversation with a 4 year old child about how great is your life.  The conversation would go this way:

You: “I want to have a great job.”
4-year old: “Why?”
You: “So that I can do what I love and earn a great salary.”
4-year old: “Why?”
You: “So I can enjoy my life.”
4-year old: “Why?”
You: “Because that will make me happy.”
Reflection - The 4-year old child is extremely insightful, and what we learned is that if we had the same conversation about any of our life goals, we would drill down to the same reason every time:
We do everything in life to find happiness.

But now let me ask you this question: Why aren’t we, as humans, happier?  Why we complain about it?To respond to this, here is an interesting fact:

Money, Love, & Healthy COMBINED can only increase our happiness up to 10%. That’s right, it has been scientifically determined that this is the case.

And, What does it mean that those things only increase or decrease our happiness by 10%?

It means if we were rich, had the perfect mate, and in terrific health, we would only be 10% happier than if you were poor, single, and in bad shape physically. Sound false? Well, when we put it that way, maybe it sounds false, but what about when we look around us at people chasing after these three things:

1. Do we know anyone who has achieved financial success, yet is still unhappy?
2. Do we know anyone who is in a great relationship, but always seems to complain?
3. How about someone who is a skinny and in great health, but still miserable?

Does this sound familiar?

We can call these people CHASERS. They chase happiness, but no matter what they chase, they come up short, and feel miserable. What about us, Are we chasers?

In this case reading more about this subject, as a global society we normally look for the next thing to make us happy, so when we reach that point, then we want more, and try to get more. But this happiness becomes temporary. As many have said, in society sometimes we are chasing the wrong things and things are not enough.

How to Incorporate More Happiness Into Our Lives?

• Money, love, and health ONLY affect our level of happiness by up to 10%. That means if some of these things in your life are not going as you have planned, it does not matter. You can still internally increase your happiness no matter what your life circumstance!

• Goal setting is not just about reaching the goals you’ve set; setting the goals in and of themselves has tremendous benefit. You wouldn’t go on a road trip without a map and the same goes for life. Learning how to goal set will increase your happiness.

• People who have an opportunity to use their strengths at work, home, or school every day are much happier than those that do not. The same goes for using your skills, talents, and creativity. You must take the assessments to identify your strengths and lean on them to increase your happiness!

• Optimism can decrease your susceptibility for physical and mental weakness. Optimists view bad occurrences as temporary, specific, and often caused by external forces. These are signs of optimism and optimism can be learned.

• Gratitude exercises done in a particular manner can not only increase your happiness, it can decrease blood pressure, boost your immune system, and decrease situational depression. The studies prove this!

• It’s possible to be TOO happy! I know it sounds silly, but on a scale of 1-10, it is better to be an 8 so that you will continue to strive to be a 10. If you consider yourself a 10 in every aspect of your life, you may become complacent. If you think about this one, it may make your head spin. Keep going, the science will show you how to be optimally happy.

•The percentage of our happiness that is passed on by genes has been scientifically determined to be only 50%. That means 50% of our happiness is in our control and we now have the exercises to take that control and make ourselves happier!

And with this… just keep in mind that Happy People…

• Live Longer
• Get better jobs
• Get paid more
• Volunteer more
• Have lower blood pressure
• Less heart disease
• Enjoy longer marriages
• Achieve more of their goals


What comes next?
Below are 4 action items to help us shape-up our happiness and joyful feelings:
Observe...

1. What we talk…The way we speak about the good and bad events in our lives will increase our set level of happiness.
2. What we say…Include in your daily life expression of gratitude. They can decrease blood pressure and depression when practiced in a particular fashion.
3. What we do…Job crafting including finding a job that uses your talents can lead to a higher paying job and satisfaction
4. How we behave… Acts of Kindness can actually be extremely beneficial for the one performing the act – that’s you!’

What else should we do?

Lastly, here is a reflection for you to read every day to boost your happiness:

“Happiness is the confidence that pain and disappointment can be tolerated, that love will prove stronger than aggression. It is release from the attachment to pleasant feelings, and faith in the capacity of awareness to guide us through the inevitable insults to our own narcissism. It is the realization that we do not have to be so self-obsessed, that within our own minds lies the capacity for a kind of acceptance we had only dreamed of. This happiness rarely comes without effort to train mind”. - Opening Up to Happiness

Enjoy!

Application Story 16: Finding Our Passion

“Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.” - Herman Cain quotes (American business man, author and speaker)

If someone asks you: If you could do one thing to transform your life, what would that be?

For me, I will focus on something I am passionate about, and try to do it for a living, although this is not as easy as it sounds, but it’s well worth the effort.  Saying this, in this entry we will be exploring the different drivers that can make our existence happier to find our passion.

First, here is some interesting data for our reflection:

According to research, about 75% of the population does not know what their true passion is. Clearly, almost everyone seems to not be doing what they were meant to do. This is an eye-opener because doing what we really love is absolutely necessary if we want to be fully happy. That is my personal opinion, but I am a firm believer that if we do not do what we love to do, we are not really following our dreams and fulfilling our potential in life. Also, I think that perhaps lacking of passion is why there is so much unhappiness going on in our society; people just aren’t doing what they are here on Earth for. Finding your true passion isn’t as simple as it may seem. For some, yes it does come naturally, but most of the time, you have to ask yourself some questions to pinpoint exactly what you were born to do.

To help us with this, and in the search for more information about this topic, I would like to share with you 7 questions that can guide us to finding our ultimate passion:

What puts a smile on your face?

Is there a particular event, a particular topic that makes your whole face just lighten up?
Whatever it is that makes you smile, and makes you happy whenever you encounter it, this is a sign of something you are passionate about. I truly believe that happiness and passion walk hand in hand. Both require each other. So following what makes you truly happy is a wonderful way to figuring out what you were put on Earth for.

Tip:

Think about something that you do or that perhaps you used to do that brings total peace to you when you do it. Peace is happiness, and happiness is passion.

What do you find easy?

Usually, what we find easy for us to do will be related to what we are passionate about. It’s very hard to hate something that is very easy for us! For example, let’s say you are naturally good at playing the piano, you will find the activity easy, and this ease makes it much more fun for you. Fun leads to happiness and happiness is synonymous with passion.

Tip:

Assess everything that you do, whatever it is that you find really easy and fun, this may very well be your passion. And don’t think that anything is off limits or silly. Some people have taken their passion for skateboarding, drawing, or collecting to full-fledged careers.
Remember this: you can make a career out of anything you are passionate about.

What sparks your creativity?

One of my passions growing up was writing. But I remember writing for hours and hours, and always coming up with different ideas, inspiration, letters, poems or thoughts. I was always full of creativity when writing for myself or for some else. Later in life, I developed similar creativity in business and working with people.

Tip:

Think about something in your life where you seem to always expand its horizon, always coming up with new, fun, and exciting ideas relating to that subject. Whatever makes you creative is probably something that you are very passionate about.

What would you do for free?

In this society, we are ruled by the almighty money $. That’s the way the system works, and that’s the game we have to play. The problem is, this leads many people to seek making money first, instead of what makes them happy.  There are a lot of stories about stock brokers and doctors for example, leaving their high paying positions to follow what they really love. There is a reason for that. I’m a firm believer that that if you follow what you are passionate about without thinking about if it will make you rich or not, you will end up being successful. Here is why: Doing what you have a passion for brings out your best, and this leads to greatness. Greatness breezes to success. Now let me ask you…Do you think that the most successful people in the world got to where they are because they wanted to get rich? Absolutely not, they did what they were so passionate about, and their immense success was just a byproduct of their dedication.

Tip:

Think about something that you would just love to do, even if you were not getting paid. Think about something that you look forward to do; something that you wish you could do all the time.

What do you like to talk about?

The topics of conversation we have can definitely tell what we are interested in, and this is a good way to find out what we really enjoy in life. Most of the time, we aren’t totally aware of this. This is why, a very good way to figure this out properly, is to ask your friends.

Tip:

Ask your friends what they believe you like to talk about the most. Ask them what topic makes your eyes brighten up, and changes your entire behavior. I can guarantee you that some of their answers will be surprising to you. Some of these things weren’t that clear to you, but your friends can see the reaction on your face that you can’t see yourself. Try it out; it’s a very insightful exercise, and one that can direct you closer to figuring out your passion.

What makes you unafraid of failure?

When we do what we are passionate about, we have total confidence in our abilities. That is for sure! This makes us not worry about failing, because in our mind, how can we fail when we do what we love? Doing what you love is a success in and of itself, so failure is like impossible.

Tip:

Think of something that you just do or want to do, no matter what. Something that you do not have second thoughts about. Think about something that you feel you must do and that failure is not even a concern of yours, because the mere act of doing it is like the journey and the destination all wrapped up in one. This may very well be your true passion.

What would you regret not having tried?

We all have these dreams, and somehow, life pushes us in another direction, and next thing we know, we are far from those dreams we used to have.

Tip:

Think… If you were at the end of your life, what would you regret not having pursued? What would you have liked to do, that you didn’t get a chance to? Think about what that might be. Whatever it is that you may experience regret now or later on for not having tried, this is a good chance to be your true passion. There is nothing worse than arriving at the end of the journey and having regret. This is why finding your passion, and following it is so important. Live your life so that you do not have regrets.

Action Items:

1. Reflect on the different questions posted in this entry, and write your answers down.
2. Keep the most important findings of your reflection visible, so they can be a constant reminder of what make you a happy person.
3. Share with us any other ideas you may have or experience that can boost our happiness.

Finally, remember that we have a creative inner child inside us. If we have repressed it for so long, it is now the time to resurface in order to experience a joyful existence. In fact, getting older doesn’t have to be depressing and sad. Life isn’t depressing, you make it this way! Life is whatever you want it to be. Do something you enjoy and your life will be enjoyable and happiness will come to your door. That’s the bottom line. Break down the barriers that you put around yourself because you became an adult. Allow that free, fun, and fearless side of you to come out! – Just Do It.


Enjoy!

Application Story 15: Increasing our Peace of Mind

Sometimes I ask myself…Wouldn’t be nice if we forget about our urges, trouble, problems and worries; and enjoy a few moments of inner calmness and freedom for those obsession thoughts?

Well most people like me would be glad to learn how to foster or increase our internal peace of mind, no matter the moments we faced in this fast pace environment. It is a matter of having the drive to do it, and learn the skills.

So for this blog entry, I would like to focus on finding peace of mind and sharing tips with all of you to put into practice. I also welcome your comments and discussion about further ideas.

Let’s start by asking: What is Peace of Mind?
There are multiple definitions out in the web, and while I was looking around, this is the one I like the most:
Peace of mind - It is a state of inner calmness and tranquility, together with a sense of freedom, when thoughts and worries cease, and there is no stress, strain or fear. Such moments are not so rare. They may be experienced while being engaged in some kind of an absorbing or interesting activity, such as while watching an entertaining movie or TV program, while being with someone you love, while reading a book or while lying on the sand at the beach.

Now let me ask you: When you are on vacation, do you experience some sort of mental numbness?
At this time, the mind becomes calmer, with fewer thoughts and fewer worries. Even while you are deeply asleep, not aware of your thoughts, you are in a state of inner peace.
Such and similar activities take away the mind from its usual thoughts and worries, and bring some temporary inner peace.

The question is how to bring more peace of mind into our life, and more importantly, how to experience it in times of trouble? Also, we might ask whether it is possible to make it a habit, and enjoy it always and under all circumstances.

First, we need to learn to bring more moments of inner peace into our daily life. Later, we will be able to experience these moments in times of trouble or difficulties too, when we really need inner calmness and tranquility.

Tips to Increase Our Peace of Mind:Experts say that we can turn peace of mind into a natural habit, but to do so, special training is required, through concentration exercises, meditation and other means. Therefore, to help us with this, let’s look for some simple things to start:

1. Reduce the amount of time you read the newspapers or watch the news on TV.

2. Stay away from negative conversations and from negative people.

3. Don't hold grudges. Learn to forget and forgive. Nurturing ill feelings and grievances hurts you and causes lack of sleep.

4. Control of Thoughts. It is our thoughts that determine our state of mind. If we constantly cherish negative and destructive thoughts, inner peace will always remain a far cry. At all costs, we need to avoid pursuing trains of negative thoughts. This requires practice. – We cannot attain mastery of our thoughts overnight. But, at the same time we always have to remember that we are able to decide which thoughts to follow and which to reject. Never feel you are a helpless victim to your thoughts.

5. Don't be jealous of others. Being jealous means that you have low self-esteem and consider yourself inferior to others. Jealousy and low self-esteem, often lead to lack of inner peace.

6. Accept what cannot be changed. This saves a lot of time, energy and worries.

7.  Every day we face numerous inconveniences, irritations and situations that are beyond our control. If we can change them, that's fine, but this is not always possible. We must learn to put up with such things and accept them cheerfully.

8.  Learn to be more patient and tolerant with people and events.

9. Don't take everything too personally. Some emotional and mental detachment is desirable. Try to view your life and other people with a little detachment and less involvement. Detachment is not indifference, lack of interest or coldness. It is the ability to think and judge impartially and logically. Don't worry if again and again you fail to manifest detachment. Just keep trying.

10. Let bygones be gone. Forget the past and concentrate on the present moment. There is no need to evoke unpleasant memories and immerse yourself in them.

11. Practice some concentration exercises. This will help you to reject unpleasant thoughts and worries that steal away your peace of mind.

12. Learn to practice meditation. Even a few minutes a day will make a change in your life.

Finally, Inner peace ultimately leads to external peace. By creating peace in our inner world, we bring it into the external world, affecting other people too.

Action Item: 

• Select 3 items from the list provided to start practicing your inner peace.
• Share with us other tips or resources related to Inner Peace.
• Remember one step at a time.

Keep In Mind:

 

“We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves”- Buddha

Enjoy!

Application Story 14: Do You Need a Break and Organize Your Days Better?

In the search of work and life harmony, having to deal with our daily activities sometimes can become complicated or difficult. It is a matter of prioritizing and learning how to be more effective with that.
However, writing this down is easy than putting things into practice. So in this blog entry we will talk about that. I welcome you to comment and share your own experience. Thanks in advance!

First of all, let’s ask ourselves the following questions:

1. Do your days seem to be crazy busy and your to-do list filled up with an endless supply of tasks?

2. Is your calendar full and your work day a non-stop rush from one thing to another?
3. Do you feel overwhelm with having crazy days and no time to stop for a break?

Answer: If so, you may have too much on your plate. So write down this advice:

“It’s time to step back, take a few minutes, and pare down that to-do list to just the bare essentials”.

Next…Let’s do the following:Imagine, for a moment, that you have only a few things on your list for today. Imagine the peace that comes from that simple little fact. Now imagine your workday, a day of simplicity, of focus, of powerful accomplishments. Imagine that instead of doing 10 little things that don’t matter much, you do one thing that will really have an impact on your business, on who you are, on your future.

Do… Action Items: Let’s make it happen, and here are some tips to help us start organizing our days and feeling better with our daily routines:

1. Focus on your goals. To know what is essential, you must first know what you are trying to achieve. If you have no goals, you have no way of knowing if a task is essential for accomplishing those goals. Take a few minutes to review your goals (or write them for the first time). Where do you want to be in 10 years? What one big thing can you do to get there this year? What can you do in the next few months? And what can you do this week? By having these goals, you are providing yourself with a roadmap. Advice: Focus on just one goal at a time for now, until that is achieved, and then focus on the next.

2. Know your value. If you do not value yourself, you will not value your time. And then you will say yes to every request, and your to-do list will always be overflowing. Take a few minutes to think about your skills, and what you are worth. Think about how much you want your time to be worth. And now, don’t accept any work that is not worth your time and value.

3. Clear your mornings. Set aside a big block of time every morning to work on your starred tasks, the ones that really matter. This is the quiet time when you can be really productive. Once afternoon hits, things are likely to pick up, and your important tasks can be pushed back. Clear your calendar in the mornings, don’t schedule anything then, turn off your phone and email, clear off your desk, and see how much you can get done.

4. Choose three things. If your list has 20 things on it, just choose three for today. But you want to do five or seven? Be ruthless. Prioritize, and only choose three. Write those three on a separate piece of paper, and that’s your to-do list for today. Be sure that at least one of them leads to your short-term goal for this week. The other two should definitely be starred tasks, those really, really important ones.

5. Stop meetings. Meetings are almost always a waste of your time. If you control them, eliminate them. Have people report stuff through email. Collaborate using online tools. Or have one-on-one meetings, for 5-10 minutes each, if necessary, and batch them together in a one-hour chunk in the afternoon. If you don’t control them, show your boss why you shouldn’t be in a meeting, and how much you can accomplish if you didn’t have to go, make a pitch your boss can’t refuse.

6. Delegate. Take another look at your to-do list … is there stuff on there that you don’t need to be doing? Forward them on to someone else, either higher up on the food chain than you or lower, or at the same level. It doesn’t matter. As long as it’s not you. Know what needs to be done by you, and what doesn’t.

7. Default to no. Instead of taking on every request that comes your way, learn to say no. Only accept those tasks that really must be done by you, that are worth your time, and that will give you the most benefit in the long run. Say no to all the rest, as hard as that may be. Or delay tell them to ask you again next week. Often the request will go away.

8. Shunt tasks to a folder. Have other small tasks that you need to do today that aren’t on your three-task to-do list for today? Put those tasks in a separate folder, or on another list, and put it away in a drawer. Set aside an hour or so later in the day, and batch process those small tasks. Phone calls, quick emails, and paperwork, whatever you can do these all real fast, all at once. It’s better than scattering them throughout the day.

9. Single-task. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT!!! When you’re going to focus on one of your three important tasks for today, really focus. Eliminate all distractions, including the Internet and email and phones and clutter on your desk. Don’t allow anything to interrupt. Same thing if you’re going to have a one-on-one meeting with someone (as mentioned above) or batch process your smaller tasks, do one at a time. Multi-tasking will just stress you out and make you less productive. Multi-tasking is really only effective on a larger scale,  doing multiple projects over the course of a month, say, instead of multiple tasks at once.

10. Set one time for email. This is probably the hardest task for most of us. Email is something we’re used to doing throughout the day. But really, for most people, email doesn’t need to be answered right away. Manage the expectations of those you communicate with, let them know that you only do email once a day, and they won’t expect an immediate answer. If this is impossible for you, at the very least, limit your email to chunks, instead of doing it throughout the day. Do it 2 or 3 times a day, or once an hour for 5 minutes, but not throughout the hour. And do not do it during your quiet time in the morning that’s for starred tasks only.

Final Reflection:Perhaps this list seems too much to try at once; so as we said before pick and choose what works for you the most. Try at list 3 things from the list, and start converting these things into a habit. It is not easy at first, but little by little, things can become easier when incorporating them in our daily routine.

What else could we do?

Remember: "Sometimes it's important to work for that pot of gold.  But other times it's essential to take time off and to make sure that your most important decision in the day simply consists of choosing which color to slide down on the rainbow".  ~Douglas Pagels, These Are the Gifts I'd Like to Give to You
Enjoy!

Application Story 13: Smile, Breathe and Go Slowly…

Have you heard the song:  “Don’t Worry… Be Happy”?

 

Well, this is the continuation of another blog-entry I posted about Happiness, and Harmony.

First I want to post this question: Is there any handbook or guide that can help every single person? Of course not! Nevertheless, these blog entries have been a list of tips and ideas that I think will help many people; some of them are common sense tips that we often forget. So I welcome you to consider this a reminder. In this particular one I would like to share more tips about simple things we can do like: Smile, Breathe and Go Slowly in our daily lives. 

 

Tips to Be Happy & Smile:

 

 

1. Do less. This is both a happiness and productivity tip. Doing less will make you happier, because your life won’t be so hectic and filled with stress. You will have time for things that give you pleasure, for the loved ones in your life, for life itself. It’s also a productivity tip: if you focus on the essential tasks, the big ones, the ones that will give you the most return for your time, and eliminate the rest; you will actually be more productive. You’ll get fewer tasks done, but you will be more effective.

2. Slow down. Life is much more enjoyable if you slow down. By doing less, you can actually get more done, even if you work more slowly. And when you’re not working, you should definitely try switching to slow mode. Drive slower (it is so much more relaxing), walk slower, eat slower. Here are some ideas:

• Have a cup of tea, put your feet up and stare out of the window. Warning: don’t try this while driving

• Spend some quality time in the bathtub

• Write down these words and place them where you can see them, “Multitasking is a Moral Weakness.”

• Try to do only one thing at a time!

3. Practice patience. Patience can be developed over time — it’s a habit, and like any other habit, it just takes some focus. Once you’ve developed this skill (and it’s a skill, like everything else), your life will become much saner and you will be much happier. Here are some A,B, C, D, E tips:

• A. Count to 10. This one really works. When you feel yourself getting frustrated or angry, stop. Count slowly to 10 (you can do this in your head). When you’re done, most of the initial impulse to yell will go away.
• B. Deep breaths. This works very well in conjunction with the above tip. Count to 10, and then take three slow, deep breaths. Feel the frustration draining out of you with each breath.
• C. Pretend someone’s watching. I forgot where I read this tip, but it’s effective. Pretend you have an audience. You’re less likely to overreact if someone’s there watching your every move.
• D. Take a break. Often it’s best just to walk away for a few minutes. Take a break from the situation, just for 5-10 minutes, let yourself calm down, plan out your words and actions and solution, and then come back calm as a monk.
• E. Just laugh. Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that no one is perfect, that we should be enjoying this time, and that life should be fun, and funny. Smile, laugh, and be happy. Doesn’t always work, but it’s good to remind yourself of this now and then.
• Bonus tip: Just Love. Instead of reacting with anger, teach yourself to react with love.

4. Practice compassion. The first part of compassion is empathy, and this ability to understand how others feel can be developed through practice. Start by imagining the suffering of a loved one. Understand their pain, the emotions they go through, and why they would react the way they would. By doing this exercise a number of times, you are developing a skill that can be applied to others, for every person you see, try to understand what they are going through.

 

5. Find your passion. Another indispensable tip! I can assure you that this might be the second on my list of priorities. Find something you love to do, and your life will become immensely improved. You will love your work, the thing that you spend 40 hours (or more) a week doing. You will become more productive, procrastinate less, be less stressed. You will produce something you are proud of, and happy about.

 

6. Exercise & Eat Healthy. Make this a daily habit. Exercise not only helps you lose weight, but for me, it’s made me feel so much better. I actually enjoy exercise now. It’s a time of contemplation for me, and I feel so much better about myself afterwards. In terms of eating healthy, try to make changes to your diet, that may help you lose weight, and once you start eating healthier I am sure it becomes more enjoyable.

 

7. Read. I read all the time, and it’s one of my favorite things to do in the world. I love to get engaged with a good novel, or even a trashy one, but I love spending time this way to help me think about other things and get away from stressful moments.

 

8. Take time to decompress after stress. There will inevitably be times in your life when you go through high stress. Perhaps several times a week. To maintain your sanity, you need to find ways to decompress.

 

9. Learn to deal with detractors. We all face detractors in our lives. They are the “No-Sayers” who, even if they are well-intentioned, will make us feel unworthy, or that you cannot achieve a goal. They will tease or be negative. In order to achieve your goals, you need to learn how to deal with these detractors and overcome this common obstacle.

 

10. Plan your big tasks for week and day. Give purpose to your day by determining the three most important things you can do with your day, and making those a priority. I normally give categories to my priorities by the A, B, C model explained in the book “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” By Steven Covey. Do the same thing with your week to increase your productivity: pick out the big tasks you’d like to accomplish this week, and schedule those first.

 

11. Enjoy the journey. Goals are important, but not at the expense of happiness now. It’s important to maintain a balance between going where you want to go, and being happy as you go there. It’s easy to forget that, so be sure to remind yourself of this little, but important, tip as you make your journey.

 

Action Item:

 

 

• Pick and choose the tips that will be most useful to you. Not every single one will be useful to every person. I hope you’ll find 10 that are useful, or that are reminders of something you’ve wanted to do.

 

• Don’t do them all at once. Choose one tip to do first, and then do them one at a time. Focus on one first, and then the next. It’s too hard to try to adopt a bunch of changes at once.

 

• Experiment. Try out a tip, and if it doesn’t work, try another. Life is an experiment, after all. None are guaranteed. But many are very likely to bring happiness.

 

• What else could we do, or add to this list?

 

Keep in mind that Smile, Breath and Go Slowly are free! We do not need to buy them anywhere and we do not need to make a huge effort to afford them. They are part of who we are; we just need constant reminders of them.

 

Enjoy!

 

Application Story 12: Self Improvement: A Personal Growth Path

The other day I was watching a program in PBS about Benjamin Franklin’s life. They were talking about Self-Improvement, using Benjamin Franklin as a great example. That got me thinking about personal growth and self-improvement, and inspired me to do more research. So here is what I would like to share with you:


About Benjamin Franklin’s life…

“He was born into a family of seventeen children as the son of a poor candle and soap maker. He had less than two years of formal education and began his young adulthood entirely on his own in Philadelphia. Yet he became a wealthy man by eighteenth century standards and one of the most respected intellects of the Western world.  He was a model for the rags-to-riches story of the self-made man. Franklin's entire life reflected his belief in self-improvement, and from adolescence until his death at eighty-four, he worked constantly to improve his mind, his body, and his behavior”.

We can see that he is a great role model to start thinking and working  in our self-improvement skills. By doing that we will be able to adjust the way we think and the way we act, to achieve success in our personal and professional lives.

Let’s deep dive more into the terms self-improvement, self-growth and self-help:
This is very popular nowadays. Also it is part of leadership competencies companies use to motivate employees looking for success in their career and personal lives. Moreover, we can find many books about these subjects and many websites too. It seems that people are turning inside to find the solution to their problems. They seek knowledge, techniques, workshops, lectures and teachers who can show them the way. People begin to understand that self-improvement and self-growth improve the quality of life.

How does this work? Experts say that as humans our subconscious mind is one of the major keys to self-improvement and self-growth. By changing the contents of the subconscious mind we change our habits, behavior and attitudes. This is brought about through visualization, affirmations, meditation and by analyzing behavior and habits.

In the next lines you will read want I found about the process of inner change; but before taking any action remember that this requires inner work. It is not enough to read, we have to practice what we read, and this needs time and effort.  Any inner change takes time, and there must be motivation, desire, ambition, perseverance and dedication. The desire to change, build new habits and improve must be strong enough to resist any laziness, desire to give up and the ridicule or opposition from family, friends or colleagues.


What can we do to start our self-improvement process?

1. Look around you and watch how people behave in various circumstances. Watch the people you meet at home, work, at the supermarket, on the bus, train and on the street. Watch and learn also from people interviewed on TV, and also from movies.

2. Watch how people talk, walk and react, and how they are consequently treated by others.

3. Pay attention to the way people use their voice and how they react to others' voices. Watch how you feel and act when people shout or speak softly. Watch what happens when people get angry, restless and upset and what happens if they are calm and relaxed.

4. If you do not like what you see, analyze what and why you do not like it, and then analyze your own behavior to find out whether you behave in the same way. Be honest and impartial in your analysis.

5. If you discover that you manifest some of these undesirable traits of character and behavior, affirm to yourself often, that every time you manifest these traits or behavior, you are going to be conscious and aware of them, and do your best to avoid them.

6. Play in your mind a mental scene of how you would like to behave. Repeat it several times a day, every day.

7. When you detect in someone a sort of behavior or character traits you like and desire to possess, try to act in a similar way. Here too, visualize several times each day a scene, where you act and behave in that different way.

8. You can also decide to change some habit and behavior patterns and develop new ones, because you believe they are necessary and beneficial, even without seeing them in others first.

9. Think and visualize over and over again in your mind how you would like to act and behave. Constantly remind yourself of the changes you desire to make, and strive to act according to them. Every time that you find yourself acting according to your old habit, remember your decision to change and improve, and act accordingly.

10. Do not be disappointed or frustrated if you do not attain fast results. It does not matter how many times you fail or forget to behave as you desired. Persevere with your efforts and never give up, and you will begin to see how you and your life change.


Action Item:

Keep In Mind…

1. The quality of your life depends to a large extent on the quality of your inner emotional and mental life. If you are lazy, worry too much and afraid to try new things, you stick to the same spot. If you are not afraid to change your thinking, your life will soon change accordingly. Your habitual thoughts and the content of your subconscious mind determine your behavior and the way you act in the world.
2. When you change the way you feel and think, you ultimately change your inner vision, actions and behavior. This causes your outer life to change accordingly.
3. What else could we do to improve ourselves every day?

Enjoy!

Application Story 11: Finding Your Leadership Path

In preparation for a leadership training session, I decided to include information from the book named “Finding Your True North” by Bill George. So while I was working on the content and my speaker notes, I was inspired to use my findings here. Why because as the writer said… “Leadership matters. It matters a great deal—to our organizations and institutions, to the people who work in them, and to the people who are served by them. For our society to function effectively, we need authentic leaders who can encourage people to perform at their best and step up and lead themselves I found in the book” - Bill George.

If I ask you about the word "leadership" it may bring to your mind a variety of images. For example:
• An army officer, charging forward to meet the enemy.
• An explorer, cutting a path through the jungle for the rest of his party to follow.
• An executive, developing her company's strategy to remain ahead of the competition.
• What else?

In the next lines you will find my reflections about this subject. I hope it triggers your thinking to start finding who you are and what you want to accomplish in your personal and professional life, every day.

In our career we always heard things like…Leaders help themselves and others to do the right things. They set direction, build an inspiring vision, and create something new. Leadership is about mapping out where you need to go to "win" as a team or an organization. Leadership is dynamic, vibrant, and inspiring. Yet, while leaders set the direction, they must also use management skills to guide their team to the right destination in a smooth and efficient way.

But in order to do all of these things, first, finding who you are is the FIRST step of the journey. In fact, understanding yourself, your desire to be passionate about things, about your goals and your purpose is what the FIRST step is all about. This is an internal journey that starts by being genuinely true to yourself, exploring what you believe in and how you make connections with people in your own personal and professional circles.  Because when you know who you are, you have a purpose, motivation and passion, then you are ready to engage others, build trust, and start leading others.

Consequently, the book talks about 5 key elements that will help you find the true you to become a leader for our community, personal life or profession:

1. Leading with Purpose: this requires self-awareness as the cornerstone of authentic leadership development. In fact, we need to be aware of who we are in our heart, what triggers learning for us, what areas for development and strengths we have.

2. Leading through Values: this requires that we have clarity about our values, principles and ethical boundaries.

3. Leading with Heart: this requires really understanding our motivators, and finding the spot where our motivator matches our capabilities.

4. Leading through Connected Relationships: this implies developing a support team.

5. Leading with Self-Discipline: this requires integrating who we are in all the things we do in life.

Can someone think about an example of using these elements?

After sharing these 5 elements, I’m a firm believer that “Leadership” is something any one can develop, by knowing who they are. To help with that, in the book there is an analogy related to “peeling an onion” all the way to its core, like knowing ourselves from the insight to the outsight. So when getting to know who we are, it is like peeling the onion to learn about our motivators, what triggers learning, understanding about our inner selves, our areas of difficulty, our great strengths, our fears and demons, our happy energy, etc.  I am sure this is a great way to find our own leadership path, but it is not easy and takes one step at a time.  Here is my own suggestion, and what I have done to help with my career and personal life. During the past 5 years I have worked closely with a professional coach- council. This has helped me overcome any difficulties I encounter in my professional journey, understanding the real me, and breaking those fearful moments and turning them into opportunities for growth. But that is not easy, because who wants to share things with others, and open your heart to let others suggest you how to be better? At the end I always think that the answers are inside us, we just need a guide to help us find the right path to those answers, and become confident to look for them.  That is what will help us understand our true us becoming a strong leader in any of the activities we have in life.

Finally, here is my own reflection about the ideas expressed in the book when searching for my leadership skills…

I agree that we have to have a purpose that brings us passion, loving what we do.   What I mean also from that is leading with our hearts, and if not then rethinking what we want to do in life and taking action. Also expanding our knowledge and understanding of things, but avoiding egos. Building relationships and enduring those with trust and commitment. Becoming transparent and open to others point of views, and recommendations. I will say that if we do that, in return people will demonstrate that to us too. Reaffirming our values and principles is also important, because this will make us complement us in terms of who we are and how we view life.

Action Items:

1. I welcome you to explore the book, “Finding Your True North” by Bill George
2. Make your own reflections, implementing the ideas provided. Remember that learning a new skill takes time, and you are in charge of your learning.

Let me end this entry with the following story:

"At the age of seven, a young boy and his family were forced out of their home. The boy had to work to support his family. At the age of nine, his mother passed away. When he grew up, the young man was keen to go to law school, but had no education.
At 22, he lost his job as a store clerk. At 23, he ran for state legislature and lost. The same year, he went into business. It failed, leaving him with a debt that took him 17 years to repay. At 27, he had a nervous breakdown. Two years later, he tried for the post of speaker in his state legislature. He lost. At 31, he was defeated in his attempt to become an elector. By 35, he had been defeated twice while running for Congress. Finally, he did manage to secure a brief term in Congress, but at 39 he lost his re-election bid. At 41, his four-year-old son died. At 42, he was rejected as a prospective land officer. At 45, he ran for the Senate and lost. Two years later, he lost the vice presidential nomination. At 49, he ran for Senate and lost again. At 51, he was elected the President of the United States of America.
The man in question: Abraham Lincoln."– Author Unknown
Enjoy!