Ways to Live in Moment: Priorities and Perspectives

Don't be a time manager, be a priority manager. Cut your major goals into bite-sized pieces. Each small priority or requirement on the way to ultimate goal become a mini goal in itself.” -  Denis Waitley

During many of my coaching sessions and conversations with peers, friends and family; a subject that always comes up is the matter of not having time to do things, not having enough energy to focus on priorities, or having too much to do with too little time… It is ashamed, I have felt the same many times, and at a point in my life it became an overwhelming feeling. However, I decided to take action, and learn how to manage that feeling by learning better ways of looking at competing priorities: work, home, and life to balance myself and my inner peace.  So inspired by many of my coworkers, friends and people I coach, here are my lessons learned:

1.       Time Skills: To get the best out of life, apply some basic time management skills. These boils down to two key principles: finding balance of personal priorities and responsibilities; and preserving our “own time” from unwanted distractions. Time is squander but also too precious to squeeze. It is a discipline but like any other skill, taking on step at a time will help to master the final outcome to have that balance.  I like to approach: Urgent Vs. Important by Steven Covey in his book the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People (www.stephencovey.com/7habits/7habits)

2.       Know what matters: No one should devote their life entirely to a single priority: that could result in extreme asceticism or unbroken concentration upon, say, parenting, work or art. Any time we devote to ourselves is time we’re not giving to another; any time we spend on beauty is time not spent on compassion. Such exclusions are inevitable. If we know what matters, we’ll be able to adjudicate between conflicting demands when they occur.

3.       Re-Think: Do a major time management audit at least every 4 months. Consider which routine activities are intruding into our quality of life, and whether we could shed any of them. How is our life-work balance treating us? Where are the stresses in our week, and how could they be eased? This is the time, too, to think about whether major changes might be desirable – for example: moving into a new house, or planning a different kind of vacation. Make sure that we come out of our audit with at least three concrete decisions for change, however modest.

4.       Checking the Boxes:  Write a list of prioritized tasks in a notebook each day to focus our mind, with a little square box alongside each one. Check the box once we’ve completed the task – a simple but effective way to keep on top of crowed and evolving to-do list. It takes practice to get that habit into our system; it is one step at time with the purpose in mind to become more organized, that will be helpful.  “I really learned to do this, and it gave me a safe place to know where to start and finish my day”.

5.       Today’s Work: The word procrastination derives from the Latin word “crastinus”, meaning “belonging to tomorrow.” Do not fall into the trap of believing that we’ll have more time to tackle a tricky task or project tomorrow than today – the reality is, we’ll probably find ourselves as pressed for time then as now.

Adpated from 1,001 Ways to Live in the Moment – by Barbara Anna Kipfer

Action Item:

·         What can we do NOW to empower ourselves to manage our priorities in a savvy way?

·         What can we do differently to be more driven and proactive for our time management?

Enjoy!

Ways to Live in Moment: Lessons Learned 2011!- Entry Number 2…

Continuing with the lessons learned during 2011, here is the Entry Number 2…
Lessons 2: Personal Growth

As I continue to reflect on what I have learned this year 2011, I will focus now in my personal growth lessons. I will say that personal growth has been a big part of who I am as a person and professional. But what is personal growth?  There are many definitions, and doing some web searches, here is the one that I like the most: “Personal Growth - is the pursuit of developing, honing and mastering the skills that help us become the best that we can, with all that we have. It is the reaching for, and realizing of, our full potential as human beings”. - Essential Life Skills.net

Here are the top 5 things I captured over the year to increase personal growth and development:

1.       Potential: Reflected on my potential as an individual and professional. Once in a while I reflected about my potential, my talents and the gaps I’m facing to fulfill that potential. Tips that I have used:

·         know and understand myself better

·         live life more consciously and deliberately

·         attain personal satisfaction and fulfillment.

2.       Change: I kept working in making a commitment to change. In fact to make something out of ourselves, we need to be willing to change, for without change, there can be no growth. If we truly want to grow, then commit ourselves to not only accepting change, but seeking it.  Best tips that worked for me to accept change and move on: 

·         Maintaining balance and flexibility in your life

·          Taking care of your physical and mental health; nurturing yourself

·          Learning to deal with problems and stressful situations

·          Maintaining good relationships with loved ones for support and encouragement

3.       Journey: I have learned to enjoy the journey.  Basically if we are going to spend time learning something, then we better learn to like it. Let’s put it this way… If the destination appeals to us, but we cannot enjoy the journey it takes to be there, we would be wise to reexamine our priorities to make sure we have them right.

4.       Perspective: I have increased my awareness of having perspective. Let’s define it first; It is how we perceive things in the context of the whole and how we judge importance of one thing in relation to others. I think that everything that happens in our lives is driven with how we perceive things too. Of course there have been parts of my personal journey that I really do not like at all, however the perspective I have placed into them, make a big difference to me. Even though we cannot help but react emotionally to some difficult situations, if we cannot control or change them, we can decide how we allow them affect us. Going back to my first lesson, here is an additional reflection – “Attitude, which is an aspect of perspective, is a way of thinking or looking at things. We have the ability to choose how we think or our attitudes”. Ultimately life is a subjective experience and it is up to each of us to decide how we choose to view and experience it.

5.       Resilience: if someone asked me to define myself, I will clearly articulate that I have tried to be a resilient individual.  By definition resilience is our ability to regain original form and to thrive and fulfill potential in spite of adversity or difficult circumstances.  Here is a great explanation of how to understand what resilience is, and how to make it a strong quality to grow and develop.

By Essential Life Skills.net:  “When life situations get out of kilter, it is the one quality and skill we need most to get us through the difficult times. To be resilient means we are able to remain stable and function in the face of disruption and chaos. It means we can continue with everyday tasks, remain balanced, and bounce back quickly from hard times. Resilience can be described as an emotional muscle which we all possess to some degree. With determination and practice we can develop and strengthen it even further. Being aware of why we need it and how important it is can encourage us to work on increasing it”.

 Taking action for our new year 2012: The miracle questions…

Where do we stand when it comes to our personal growth for every day? Let’s reflect:

1.       Have I already made the decision to seek and experience improvement daily?

2.       Based on your decision, what is the one action you are going to practice every day in order to be successful?

Adpated from Make Today Count – John C. Maxwell. & By Essential Life Skills.net

Enjoy!

Ways to Live in Moment: Lessons Learned 2011!

 

We are close to the final days of this 2011, and many of us are preparing for our holiday celebrations, family time, Christmas time and New Year resolutions. With that in mind, I would like to share with all of you a final blog entry for 2011.  Here we go…
This year has been a learning journey in many ways, therefore this entry is a reflection of the top 3 lessons learned that helped me navigate the journey adjusting my sails when facing winds of change and ambiguity.  Let me share it with you… in three entries.
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Entry Number 1

Lesson 1: Attitude - I made every effort to keep a positive attitude and use it to influence others…
Reflection: The way we receive and accept everything that comes from the environment, our surroundings and specially the people we have around us; depends on the attitude we place into things, situations and moments. Many people in this world mistakenly believe that their attitude is set, and it cannot change. Our attitude is a choice! If our desire is to make every day a positive one and a place for learning something new and different… then we have a great attitude! However it could be difficult to implement that thought if we are trapped into negative contemplations. Although it is hard to implement, start setting internal desires to monitor that bad attitude and push ourselves to change it.

Here is how I have been doing it:

1.       Reminded myself: “The things I know I can control are what I feel, what I see, and what I think! That pushed me to have a positive attitude, and to help others see it too.

2.       Recognized that my attitude needs daily adjustments – like any other disciple our attitude will not take care of itself. That’s why it needs to be attended to daily. The stronger our natural inclination to be pessimistic or critical, the more attention our attitude will need.

3.       Incorporated an attitude check, and watched for red flags signaling that my attitude might be in trouble.

4.       Looked for something positive in every situation, and said something positive in very conversation.

Taking action for our new year 2012: The miracle questions…

Where do we stand when it comes to our attitude for every day? Let’s reflect:

1.       What are you going to do to choose and display the right attitude daily?

2.       Based on the decision you made concerning attitude, what is the one discipline you must practice today and every day in order to be successful?

Enjoy!

Adpated from Make Today Count – John C. Maxwell.

Ways to Live in Moment: Attitude

"It is our attitude at the beginning of a difficult task which, more than anything else, will affect It's successful outcome." -William James

Recently I received a great email from work that talks about “Attitude”. This message provided a great reflection and suggestion for me; and I will say that it can help adjust and receive things in a more positive way.  Therefor, I would like to share this message with all of you.

Here We Go…

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company…a church…a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude…I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me, and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you…we are in charge of our Attitudes.”              ~Pastor Charles Swindoll

"Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy; meditate on these things."

 To Practice This Thought:

Explore different perspectives – the city is more beautiful when seen from above and so is the country. Exploring different perspectives does not always change things, but it always changes us. We begin to feel, think and see with different eyes, and with this spirit we become stronger and more positive.   

Enjoy!

Ways to Live in Moment: Mindful Days

“Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.” ~ Dalai Lama

Fall is here and with this new season change is coming to help us celebrate new things in our live. Let’s be more mindful to enjoy every challenge and opportunity while embracing this new season!

In this entry I would like to share with you some great tips to become mindful and open every day.  

1.       One Change: Routine can bring comforting stability and structure to your day, yet it’s new experiences that make us feel we’re truly alive. Make a promise to yourselves to vary one small part of our routine each day: walk a difference route to work… Feel the invigorating power of change.

2.       Reasoning: “The less routing, the more life.” – Amos Bronson Alcott

3.       Breezy Start: Begin each day in the expectation that some time, before day’s end, you’ll receive some good news.

4.       Lucky You: Think of chores you face in the day ahead as a privilege, not a burden. Resolve to enjoy the satisfaction of doing them to best of your ability. Take pleasure in your skills.

5.       Sante! We tend to really appreciate normal health only when we’re sick. Resolve, next time you wake up, to notice and celebrate the inestimable value of your health, and the benefits it will bring to the day ahead.

6.       Reassess: Take a moment of quiet each morning to check that the plan you made the day before still make sense in the clear morning light. Adjust them as necessary. Embrace fluidity.

7.       Early Riser: At least once a month, watch the sunrise, a refreshing experience for mind and spirit.

8.       Work ahead: “Awake, my soul, and with the sun Thy daily stage of duty run “Thomas Ken

9.       Special Theme: Set and intention for your day, such as “Today I will be a good listener” or “Today I will not get distracted.” Repeat your intention to yourself whenever you tire or lack motivation. Alternatively, set a theme for the day: for example, you might decide you’re going to dedicate a day to adventure, or fluidity, friendship, or inner wealth.

10.   Be yourself!

 Adpated from 1,001 Ways to Live in the Moment – by Barbara Anna Kipfer

Action Item:
From these recommendations, what’s your goal for this Fall Season…

Enjoy!

 

Ways to Live in the Moment: Managing Our Emotions

 Fall is coming soon, and as this new season approaches I would like to use this blog entry to share best practices for managing our emotions. Why because as Fall comes and as we enter into a new cycle of our lives, self-regulating our emotions may help us balance who we are and how we react to what comes in every new cycle in life. Also, this is a topic I always wanted to address because of my own experience and my journey growing and developing as an individual.

What do you think about this statement: “Emotions are felt by everyone – love, hate, fear, joy, and so on. However, while these emotions are an inextricable part of our lives, we need control them in order to ensure that we respond to a situation right way. This is especially important when it comes to negative emotions”.

Why Are Emotions Necessary?
Emotions are a necessary part of life, as they are needed in order to be able to live life fully. But what are emotions? They are the language of everyone’s mental state of being, and are tied to a person’s social and physical sensory feelings. Emotions are the feelings that are used to react to fear, joy, love, sadness, hate, disgust, and pleasure. However, emotions need to be managed in order to ensure that they are appropriate in any given situation to prevent consequences or negative behaviors. If an emotion is strong enough to take over our brain, it can cover logical reasoning and cause a loss of inner peace.

Let’s explore important tips to help us become savvy when managing our own emotions. Some of these tips are adapted from the book 1,001 Ways to Live in the Moment – by Barbara Anna Kipfer and other personal experiences.

1.       Becoming Strong Individuals - Managing our emotions means that we will become happier, more confident in ourselves, and more able to deal with the challenges in life. The first way to manage our emotions is by managing our thoughts. Negative thoughts affect our energy, and we will feel less likely to take action. Pessimists are generally insecure, depressed people that do not know how to manage their emotions, especially in times of stress. Positive thinkers focus on the good side of things in order to deal with situations in a rational manner without letting emotions cloud their judgment.  Look for Positive Psychology.

2.       Emotional Dressage - Think that we are a charioteer, and our emotions as horses under control. They are powerful and can become headstrong, but if train them properly we’ll usually submit to our will. However, if we let them have their way, we’re unlikely to steer a straight course.

3.       Feeling and Emotion – These two terms are confused, but there are distinctions. An emotion is an inner surge when mind is swamped by chemicals: anger, fear, lust, envy, joy, and pride are all emotions. Feelings, on the other hand, affect our behavior less dramatically. Emotions can distort our reasoning, whereas feelings tend to give a tinges to our reasoning. Start using these terms with care: a thoughtful vocabulary can be helpful tool in the quest of self-knowledge.

4.    Replay - When we describe a past emotional event to someone, does the emotion come flooding back? If so, you need to work on your detachment. When recounting what happened, concentrate on the words we’re using, not the experience itself. Remember that your purpose is simply to convey accurate information, and being overcome by the emotion could undermine your success as a narrator. Stay Calm: It’s Over!

5.       Emotion’s Management – Our emotions such as anger needs to be controlled. Anger, improperly controlled, and causes people to say or do hurtful or harsh things that cannot be undone later on. Let’s try to hold back our emotions (anger) by learning self-control – visualize the possible consequences of our anger. Usually this is enough to allow us to sit back for a while. A balanced life that includes a good diet, and regular exercise can manage help us manage our emotions, as both of these have been proven to have good effects on the way that people feel.

6.       Peace - “The greatest of victories is the victory over oneself.” Indian Proverb.

7.       Making it Concrete - Start to believe that we can control our emotions. Also pay attention to our emotions – this will allow us to focus on what is happening at the moment and help us to respond appropriately. Never ignore our emotions or suppress them in the hope that they will simply disappear. Try and determine the source of our feelings. Is it caused by something that is happening now or as the result of a prior experience? Talk about our feelings but do so in a non-confrontational manner. This could be as simple as using “I” instead of “you.  Wherever possible, focus on the positives.

Finally, let’s keep it simple: To manage our emotions and self-regulate ourselves: Get enough rest , talk to someone your trust , learn to solve problems , listen to your self-talk , get all the facts before you act , take a mini mind vacation, help somebody else , seek help, be yourself, ask for what you want, and compromise .

What are you doing next?
Emotions to me are a complex thing, like a Pandora Box that can surprise us even when we are not paying attention. However trying to control our negative feelings and bringing more self-awareness can help us gain power and be fully capable to navigate difficult and complex situations. Remember that what we can control in any given situations is: WHAT WE THINK, WHAT WE FEEL AND WHAT WE SAY!

1.       Take action and start building more awareness of how you perceive things and how you react.

2.       Try at least one of the tips provided.

3.       What would you recommend as part of your own experience?

Best!

Ways to Live in Moment: Opportunity and Destiny

When written in Chinese the word "crisis" is composed of two characters - one represents danger and the other represents opportunity. ~John F. Kennedy, address, 12 April 1959

This past week I had the opportunity to attend a Leadership Summit here at Miami. In this forum I was able to network and learn current and new best practices for helping individuals achieve their maximum potential when embarking in any leadership role. And when I say leadership role, this is applicable to any of the things we do, in our family, community, work, friends, etc. Leadership is not limited to our work practices, it is more than that. It is the power of empowering others such as friends, family, peers, coworkers, and even estrange people, to act and do something in a positive way that will make an impact… a difference.  That is my personal definition of leadership in general.
Anyway…During that summit I got inspired by other leaders and gurus in the field to write today’s blog entry.  In fact, one of the speakers Dr. Leonard A. Schlesinger, talked about “Action Trumps Everything: Creating what you want in an uncertain world” and in combination with his message and book’s ideas; this blog entry talks about Opportunity and Destiny when we are motivated to act, take action, and size-up our moments to continue learning and growing.

So let’s talk first about...Why to act and take action?

Taken from Action Trumps Everything: Creating What You Want in an Uncertain World, by Charles F. Keifer and Leonard A. Schlesinger.

1. If we act, we will find out what works…
2. And what doesn’t.
3. If we never act, we will never know if we are right or wrong.
4. If we act, we will find out if we like it…
5. Or we don’t.
6. Acting leads to market reaction, which could take us in another direction.
7. As we act, we can find people to along with us.
8. As we act, we can find ways to do things faster, cheaper, better.
9. If we act, we won’t spend the rest of our life going “I wonder what would have happened if…”
10. If all we do is think, we are less interesting as a person.
11. If all we do is think about stuff, we gain tons of theoretical knowledge, but non from the real world.
12. … All we do is think.
13. Action always leads to evidence.
14. If we act, we know what is real.
15. Talking to people is action... at zero cost.
16. It seems the cost of doing more thought, before you pull the trigger, is zero.

Now What?

With this in mind, let’s explore ideas and recommendations to size-up opportunities and take control of our destiny:

1. Act Now… “I do not believe in a fate that falls on men however they act; but I do believe in a fate that falls on men unless they act.”

2. Wheel of Fortune… Risks are part of life, and we’re at the mercy of one every time we start a new job or a new relationship, go on a journey or even on vacation. Don’t be so risk-averse that you end up impoverishing your experiences, restricting yourself to comfortable mediocrity. Asses the risks as they take shape in your mind, then decide which ones to accept.  – Disappointments are preferable to regrets.

3. Embracing emptiness… When we contemplate the future, its lack of known features is often the thing that makes us apprehensive. Never think of the future as a desert: it’s a garden in bloom that you haven’t seen yet.

4. Setting Sail…“we do not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time”

5. The Incredible Journey… We can’t ask to be reborn as someone different, so we must all act within the parameters of our personality and life-situations to some extent. Even so, there are countless opportunities to make choices and modify our fata in creative ways – even to change the way we think. Visualize yourself as a creative artist, working with the raw materials of a life.

6. Shared your Pathways… Our destiny is the path we pursue with passion. For some it may be a special excellence, achievable only by nurturing a skill. Others may choose a more universal experience, such a homemaking. Avoid the common pitfall of believing that unusual ambitions are worth more than those we share. To devote one’s life to living well is the worthiest of endeavors.

7. As On Door Closes… Don’t waste times dwelling on what might have happened if you’re taken a different path through life. You’ll never know. You do, one the other hand, have the chance to find out what will happen today if you keep moving forward, choosing each new directions with care and positive attitude.

8. Fishing… “Change is always powerful. Let your hook be always cast; in the pool where you least expect it, there will be a fish.

9. Perfect Partners… “Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity”

10. Action Time… Be honest with yourself on the subject of when you’ve talked enough about your ideas and dreams, and when it’s time to put your planning into action.

Adpated from 1,001 Ways to Live in the Moment – by Barbara Anna Kipfer

Action Item: From these recommendations, What’s your Key Insight…



Miracle Questions:

• What can we do NOW to empower ourselves more when opportunities knock our door?
• What can we do differently to be more driven and proactive?


Enjoy!