Ways to Live in the Moment: Managing Our Emotions

 Fall is coming soon, and as this new season approaches I would like to use this blog entry to share best practices for managing our emotions. Why because as Fall comes and as we enter into a new cycle of our lives, self-regulating our emotions may help us balance who we are and how we react to what comes in every new cycle in life. Also, this is a topic I always wanted to address because of my own experience and my journey growing and developing as an individual.

What do you think about this statement: “Emotions are felt by everyone – love, hate, fear, joy, and so on. However, while these emotions are an inextricable part of our lives, we need control them in order to ensure that we respond to a situation right way. This is especially important when it comes to negative emotions”.

Why Are Emotions Necessary?
Emotions are a necessary part of life, as they are needed in order to be able to live life fully. But what are emotions? They are the language of everyone’s mental state of being, and are tied to a person’s social and physical sensory feelings. Emotions are the feelings that are used to react to fear, joy, love, sadness, hate, disgust, and pleasure. However, emotions need to be managed in order to ensure that they are appropriate in any given situation to prevent consequences or negative behaviors. If an emotion is strong enough to take over our brain, it can cover logical reasoning and cause a loss of inner peace.

Let’s explore important tips to help us become savvy when managing our own emotions. Some of these tips are adapted from the book 1,001 Ways to Live in the Moment – by Barbara Anna Kipfer and other personal experiences.

1.       Becoming Strong Individuals - Managing our emotions means that we will become happier, more confident in ourselves, and more able to deal with the challenges in life. The first way to manage our emotions is by managing our thoughts. Negative thoughts affect our energy, and we will feel less likely to take action. Pessimists are generally insecure, depressed people that do not know how to manage their emotions, especially in times of stress. Positive thinkers focus on the good side of things in order to deal with situations in a rational manner without letting emotions cloud their judgment.  Look for Positive Psychology.

2.       Emotional Dressage - Think that we are a charioteer, and our emotions as horses under control. They are powerful and can become headstrong, but if train them properly we’ll usually submit to our will. However, if we let them have their way, we’re unlikely to steer a straight course.

3.       Feeling and Emotion – These two terms are confused, but there are distinctions. An emotion is an inner surge when mind is swamped by chemicals: anger, fear, lust, envy, joy, and pride are all emotions. Feelings, on the other hand, affect our behavior less dramatically. Emotions can distort our reasoning, whereas feelings tend to give a tinges to our reasoning. Start using these terms with care: a thoughtful vocabulary can be helpful tool in the quest of self-knowledge.

4.    Replay - When we describe a past emotional event to someone, does the emotion come flooding back? If so, you need to work on your detachment. When recounting what happened, concentrate on the words we’re using, not the experience itself. Remember that your purpose is simply to convey accurate information, and being overcome by the emotion could undermine your success as a narrator. Stay Calm: It’s Over!

5.       Emotion’s Management – Our emotions such as anger needs to be controlled. Anger, improperly controlled, and causes people to say or do hurtful or harsh things that cannot be undone later on. Let’s try to hold back our emotions (anger) by learning self-control – visualize the possible consequences of our anger. Usually this is enough to allow us to sit back for a while. A balanced life that includes a good diet, and regular exercise can manage help us manage our emotions, as both of these have been proven to have good effects on the way that people feel.

6.       Peace - “The greatest of victories is the victory over oneself.” Indian Proverb.

7.       Making it Concrete - Start to believe that we can control our emotions. Also pay attention to our emotions – this will allow us to focus on what is happening at the moment and help us to respond appropriately. Never ignore our emotions or suppress them in the hope that they will simply disappear. Try and determine the source of our feelings. Is it caused by something that is happening now or as the result of a prior experience? Talk about our feelings but do so in a non-confrontational manner. This could be as simple as using “I” instead of “you.  Wherever possible, focus on the positives.

Finally, let’s keep it simple: To manage our emotions and self-regulate ourselves: Get enough rest , talk to someone your trust , learn to solve problems , listen to your self-talk , get all the facts before you act , take a mini mind vacation, help somebody else , seek help, be yourself, ask for what you want, and compromise .

What are you doing next?
Emotions to me are a complex thing, like a Pandora Box that can surprise us even when we are not paying attention. However trying to control our negative feelings and bringing more self-awareness can help us gain power and be fully capable to navigate difficult and complex situations. Remember that what we can control in any given situations is: WHAT WE THINK, WHAT WE FEEL AND WHAT WE SAY!

1.       Take action and start building more awareness of how you perceive things and how you react.

2.       Try at least one of the tips provided.

3.       What would you recommend as part of your own experience?

Best!